There are 400,000+ children that need a home and family in the USA alone. If you can’t have children or you are waiting to have children, consider fostering. It is a great way to help out your community, help your family grow in character, and help a child. As we endeavor to foster we are surprised at the comments we hear from others. But we move through the fear and thankfully have been privileged to love many children.
What we did NOT expect: the questions we receive and the prejudices. We learn there is a stigma attached to fostering and it unfortunately hurts the children!
Here are some of the comments we get and some facts to debunk these nay-sayers of a Reason to Foster and Adopt. We will share our opinion and hopefully inspire you to consider fostering to adopt, and at the very least help to get more people involved to change a system worldwide.
Reason to Foster and Adopt #3 Losing. I could never let go of a child!
There is a well known quote (Alfred Lord Tennyson) that is most appropriate here.
“I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it when I sorrow most, ’tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all”
We have never been guaranteed time with any child or person! It is important that we give and love without expectations.
Yes, unfortunately, it can be horrible to lose a child. However, if you maintain a relationship with the biological parent(s), in any fashion, it will ease the pain of loss. For instance, we always have the child draw a picture, date and sign, and we write a few activities of the child since the last visit. The bio-parents are really grateful and develop a trust with you as their child’s guardian. And when/if they return to the system, they will keep in touch. Many times these children do return to the system after 6 months to a year.
In our case we are blessed to be legal guardians for our previous foster children, in the event anything happens to the bio-parents. And we are able to maintain our anonymity of address and last name, and still have a relationship. The bio-parents we work with understand and never seem resentful of our privacy. This enables us to keep in touch and many times pick up the child in their times of need and to be the parents again if a bio-parent digresses. You have to determine what works best for your family…this is just an example of our comfort level.
We had the unimaginable loss of a child. We had to fight cancer traditionally and he died after 2 years. Sometimes it amazes me that I can get up in the morning and keep going! Some moments are harder than others, but I can’t imagine NOT having him or loving him for the short time we got.
There are a few Silver Linings that have positively and forever changed our family!
1. I enhanced my education via going to a holistic, Weston A. Price nutritional school. Check out NTA It was a way to get additional knowledge on eating healthy, getting certified so we could help other children, and this helped me cope with his loss.
2. We appreciate people around us much more than before. Our friendships and relationships are genuine, even when one-sided. Our love is not based on a return love.
3. We do not expect that all our young friends and family will live forever. Yet, we certainly promote healthy living.
4. We live more fully, because
5. Our relationship with the Creator of the Universe has become more “wide and long and high and deep”.
So don’t worry about losing a child in a Foster System. It can happen with any child; and these children will be all the better because of the love you give them. This is a Reason to Foster and Adopt. Just know that odds are in your favor that after 1-2 years, you will get to adopt a child you are fostering. Whether it is the 1st or the 4th child no one can say, because as we have resolved, you get what the Creator gives you.
How will you live your life?
We decide not to base our family vision on what people think of us or a system; we choose our reason to Foster and Adopt regardless of the potential loss.
Our reason is: Because we can help children, and subsequently positively affect our world one child at a time.
Consider this option of helping out a child as a Reason to Foster and Adopt, you’ll be better for it.
We are also seen on foster2forever