This is “Hands-Down” the best parenting tip we ever got from a dear, sweet, amazing parent on how to have…
Well Behaved Children.
We took this class on Child-Training from an amazing couple who have become our mentors. Every one of their now-married children avoided terrible 2’s, 3’s and teenage years. So no matter what we thought, we just did what they did. We desperately want well behaved children.
For children under 5, a little blanket works great. For older children, you can modify to a sofa or a table. Generally speaking, the younger the child is, the faster the child learns.
- You need 5 minutes of time when you have no other distraction, only focused time to teach a valuable lessen to your child.
- Find a little, quiet toy that can entertain
- A timer, and
Place the blanket on the floor and tell the baby what you are doing and make sure you have a very sweet, patient voice. “Mommy/Daddy is going to teach you how to have patience. Now you are going to sit on the blanket and play with this toy for 1 whole minute. Make sure you stay on the blanket and Mommy/Daddy will help you.”
Now you set the timer and place the child on the blanket with the toy and step back to observe. As the child puts the hand or foot off the blanket, you simple point and touch around the edge of the blanket saying in the same gentle voice, “no, no, no, no”. Each child is different. Some cry, some shove their hands and feet out more, and some keep body parts in and pass the test with flying colors! Each time the child puts a part or all of self on the edge of the blanket, you gently place back onto the blanket and gently say, “no, no, no, no”.
When the exercise is over you pick up the child or children, hug them and tell them “well-done”. A little snack with good healthy fat or (this easy one) will help them remember better too! Repeat one time each day until 1 minute is done well, then you move up a few minutes. The goal is to achieve quietness and stillness at an age appropriate time-which we feel a baby should be able to sit for 5 minutes and a 5 year old for 15 -30 minutes.
In case anyone feels this is cruel, let me explain how this is kind and will help you and the child(ren) be successful. When you go to the grocery store, the child sits in the buggy for at least 30 minutes. When you fly on a plane, a child sits for at least an hour. When you go out to eat, you sit still at a table for 30 minutes or more. When you visit a dentist, you sit for at least 15 minutes. Everywhere we go, it requires that we wait and be patient (this includes going to Walt Disney World too!)
Each child we have been privileged to foster, learned this lesson also. It takes surprisingly little time. We would be lauded with good comments from the Social Workers, Case Managers, and doctors. Everyone tells us, “What well behaved children you have.” Especially amazed are those who knew the children before they came into our home. Children genuinely need to have this skill set to survive.
Here is a link to enjoy our inspirational and charitable book on How Our Family Survives.
Instead of hearing degrading comments and “tearing them down” with words, each child hears how well they behave. In the grocery store, a lady inevitably approaches and comments on such well-behaved children. As a parent you will get to see the “fruit” of your loving time, because with every compliment, the pride swells up in the face of a beautiful child and grows into a wide smile. That’s priceless!
Hope this helps prepare you and your child for a better life; it certainly has made the most significant, positive difference in our family experiences. And we are super proud of all our well behaved children.