One thing life has taught me is that no matter how good, there is difficulty entwined. Likewise, despite the hard times, blessings are mixed in.
Blessings are all around us, but sometimes I have to look a little harder. When life hands out difficulty, we have discovered the most successful response is love.
Our family has been dealing with a pending challenge for years. It is truly “mountainous” and could easily crush my marriage and my family. But it has not. At some level, difficulty draws out the worst in me; it causes stress, which starts a chain reaction of negatively-driven actions. Whether I’m more frustrated with the children or not as patient with my husband, I have to stop and appreciate the moment. I have a good husband. My children are healthy and kind to others.
It is important to celebrate and this is a reckoning I must daily take. Around 80% of parents with; special kids, the death of a child, bankruptcy, huge lawsuits, mostly end in divorce. Life can be hard. And when each challenge arises, we really get to see ourselves; good and bad. Somehow, it allows a little spring cleaning inside me and with my relationships to others.
Now I’m beginning to understand that these difficulties are in the hands of blessings. Somehow, they go together and when I can get deeply honest with myself, then the blessings are revealed.
A Change in Perspective
Today, I must qualify that it doesn’t seem quite as difficult anymore. Not much has changed physically or legally, but much has changed in my mind. A new-found trust and strength has emerged. This strength has replaced the renegade “mom-head” and “wife-head” that gives in to worry and fear!
Instead, I am learning to let go and allow something greater to culminate that is completely out of my hands and let me tell you it is exhilarating! It’s like flying!! I can see the blessings and the work of good all around me despite the difficult.
Regardless of the cruel mess in the world, there is magnificent beauty. As I take captive of my thoughts and focus on the blessings, an image becomes clear. No matter how hard I try to fully recover each condition of my children, there is an element outside of my control. I work hard to feed my kids right, but they are learning independence. Similarly, I want to protect their eyes and ears from the hate of man whether it is in a movie, on the radio, or a video game. The words and images before my children shape and develop their souls. But I cannot protect them completely from this anymore as they grow and we live in this world.
Life just happens. We chose to foster and our first foster son had to go to the hospital for chemo treatments every 21 days. His biological parents were allowed to be there when we were there. We quickly appealed to the State for them to have rights to stay the night and us the day to keep some type of order. However, my children and our shared child were exposed to horrible words, hate, and yelling because the biological parents have restraining orders against each other, and this adventure is very hard on their already-burdened souls.
Thus, my children are exposed to the very world I wanted to protect them from seeing.
All my efforts are challenged. Therefore, as I continue to move forward as a wife and a mom, it is a conscious decision to protect my children but now with an intent understanding to help them navigate with their “eyes wide open”. And it is of gargantuan value that I also keep in check. It is impossible and unwise to shelter the older children. I understand that there is beauty within me and that’s all I can offer. No matter what the world eats, speaks, watches, or battles; I create my world within and I’m responsible for giving the lense for how my children view life. They will choose their own path, but for now, I’m fighting for LOVE to be the lense. And reaching out to help others through orphan homes full of kids who need love and guidance and writing a cookbook to fund the efforts.
My Intention to Thrive
It is the realization of THRIVING that comes from within me, not from what anyone else says or how many likes and hearts are on social media. Therefore, I will extend my hands of blessings, that are full of love, I will also have to hold the difficulties too. And I am capable; even when my heart deceives me. I am Strong. I am Love.