Many myths of fostering…very untrue myths of fostering. Here’s the #2 Reason to Foster and Adopt.
There are 400,000+ children that need a home and family in the USA alone. If you can’t have children or you are waiting to have children, consider this a Reason to Foster and Adopt. It is a great way to help out your community, help your family grow in character, and to help a child. As we endeavor to foster we are surprised at the comments we hear from others.
Our hope is to dispel the stigmas attached to fostering and give you a reason to foster and adopt. The stigmas only hurt the children!
This issue is a horrible one! I even hate addressing it, but know that it is necessary. Hopefully, this is a fair discussion and beneficial.
Many say that people who foster are abusive.
In order to become a foster care provider, there are many processes you go through. There are inquiries and disclosures on your finances, Investigations federally for any criminal records, family and neighbor inquiries. If any of these queries result in a less than favorable response, it is not possible to foster. However, there are some leniencies for relatives who will foster.
The reason the child is in the Foster System is because he/she is being removed from an abusive environment. People seem to forget this. And the parents are in a really bad situation or have not been brought up to know how to love a child. In any case, the…
Foster Families have been demoralized falsely. It is a general prejudice that needs re-branding.
Yes unfortunately, there are occasional bad apples in the bunch. It applies to all of life, not just fostering and adoptive parents. I find it ironic that this perception is so upside down, though. Realistically, this percentage is so low that if something bad happens, it gets a lot of media attention. This is the only information seen, thus the misperception. The rigorous process to become a foster parent usually weeds out the bad apples. After submitting fingerprints, 3 copies for Federal, State, and local investigations, it is hard pressed for a person with a questionable background to be approved to Foster. Of course, some will slip through and it is horrible, and for these I have no words other than disgust and hope for quick discovery for the childrens’ sake!
Many times abuse comes from relatives of the foster child, who just are not able to keep the child. The requirements are not as rigorous to become caretakers but these relatives have a guilt factor because he/she is related. Regardless, they are not in a position to keep the child and really should not. In any case, this is clearly the exception and most of the foster parents are incredible people.
The first time I heard of this myth, I laughed so hard, because of the irony in receiving the information. We would send a photo and a note for every visit telling of the events/learnings/happenings of the child to the biological parent. We share how well the child is eating and how we are working on getting healthy. It is what I would want if the roles were reversed.
Then, when our first foster son had to fight cancer, we got to meet his biological parents on a daily basis. One day his biological parents share how happy they are that we are the foster parents. They have been so concerned about the safety of their child! Their perception is the sensationalist view. I begin to smile and ask to speak freely.
Of course, I share all the investigations and inspections we have to go through. Very few bad people slip through and if they do and they abuse a child, it is so unusual that it receives a lot of media attention. And with courage, I remind them that they were imprisioned, passed out, and abandoned their child. This is the concern. We have a lot of good discussions and clearly I am not perfect, but I am passionate to give hope to these children. These parents are now both gainfully employed and have amazing talents. They just had a tough upbringing and sometimes that is hard to overcome.
Hopefully this is enlightening on a very tough topic. Please do not let these myths prevent you from seeing how important it is to help these precious children.
Reason to Foster and Adopt #3 to follow.