Understanding the Reason to Help a Foster Child
There are 400,000+ children that need a home and family in the USA alone. If you can’t have children or you are waiting to have children, consider volunteering and helping out foster kids. It is a great way to help out your community, help your family grow in character, and help a child. As we endeavor to foster we are surprised at the comments we hear from others. But we move through the fear and thankfully have been privileged to love many children.
Since we are familiar with the foster system, we hear reasons why people do not get involved even though some may wish to volunteer. Today we will discuss the third reason that deters volunteering:
I Don’t Want to Lose a Child, I Could Never Let Go
There is a wonderful quote from Alfred Lord Tennyson that is most appropriate here.
“I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it when I sorrow most, ’tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all”
We have never been guaranteed time with any child or person! It is important that we give and love without expectations.
Yes, unfortunately, it can be horrible to lose a child. However, if you develop a relationship with the biological parent(s), in any fashion, it helps. For instance, we always have the children draw a picture, date and sign, and we write a few activities of the child since the last visit. The bio-parents are really grateful and develop a trust with you as their child’s guardian or volunteer. And when/if they return to the system, they will keep in touch. Many times these children do return to the system after 6 months to a year.
Finding a Comfortable Place
In our case we are blessed to be legal guardians for our previous foster children, in the event anything happens to the bio-parents. And we are able to maintain our anonymity of address and last name, and still have a relationship. The bio-parents we work with understand and never seem resentful of our privacy. This enables us to keep in touch and many times pick up the child in their times of need and to be the parents again if a bio-parent digresses. You have to determine what works best for your family…this is just an example of our comfort level.
We had the unimaginable loss of a child. He had cancer and passed after 2 years. Sometimes it amazes me that I can get up in the morning and keep going! Some moments are harder than others, but I can’t imagine NOT having him or loving him for the short time we got.
So don’t worry about losing a child in a Foster System. It can happen with any child; and these children will be all the better because of the love you give them.
We hope to positively affect our world one child at a time. Hopefully, we have given a fresh new perspective on helping out these kids as well.
We are also seen on foster2forever